What is it that makes a man a “real” man? This is a question I tend to ask myself every now and again. I suppose every guy asks the question at some point in his life. One of the best answers I have ever heard to this question was brilliantly simple: A penis. Still, that answer doesn’t give me the insight for living that I would like. The question resurfaced for me while watching the AMC TV series Breaking Bad. I have to confess, I love this show! I am addicted for lots of reasons. Among its many (often dark) themes is this question: What makes a man a real man? The main characters in the show seem to have it figured out. Or at least they think they do.
Is true manliness found in providing for a family? If so, Walt and Gus are high caliber men. Is it the wiliness and ability to beat another man senseless? Is it violence or the wiliness to use it? If so, Hank and Tuco are a couple of amazing men. Or what about the psycho twins (cousins actually)? I guess they must be the most authentic men since they were definitely the toughest.
Or is true masculinity found in the ability to gain power and position? Is it found in the gift of natural leadership? If so, then Gus again takes the cake. Even good old all American Ted is a prime specimen. And lets not forget about the cartel kingpin himself. Wealthy, strong, powerful, self-made, untouchable and completely in control. If this is the criteria we use to judge a man a man then he is the best of them all.
But wait…there’s a problem here. Gus is a psycho and the devil. Tuco was an out of control, abusive thug. Walt is a greedy, murdering drug producer. Hank lost his temper and broke the law. He abused his power and hurt people out of anger. Good old American Ted is an adulterer, a liar and a thief. The cartel kingpin is pure evil. The psycho cousins kill large groups of people at a time (sometimes even with axes). Are these examples of real men? I sincerely hope not. Surely true masculinity is not just about making money, using violence and wielding power!
But isn’t this the message our culture still embraces? Don’t we still elevate those who can make lots of money? (Donald Trump, Mark Zuckerberg) Don’t we idolize those who can hit the hardest? (UFC Champion Chuck Liddell) Don’t we give special treatment to those who have power and know how to use it? (Politicians, CEO’s etc.) And don’t we love the movies that tell the best stories about men who do similar kinds of things? And lets not pretend that Christians haven’t bought into these ideas a little, too. I seem to remember a hip mega-church pastor saying something about Jesus being a jack-you-in-the-jaw kind of guy. Really? Now, I’m all for self-defense, but is this really the kind of strength that Jesus preached about?
So what makes a man a man? Well, Jesus lectured on the subject more than once. One such occasion is called the Sermon on the Mount. In this sermon, among other things, he turns upside down all of this world’s notions about true manliness and prosperity. He attacks it head on and tells us that masculinity is not found in accumulating wealth, power or any other sort of earthly comfort or treasure. He tells us that true strength is not about violence but rather peacemaking, mercy, meekness and love. He tells us that this world’s way is not the Kingdom of God way and the ones who will finally inherit the earth are not going to be those that follow the world’s standards. He gives us a better and loftier standard to live by. And if you happen to follow the Breaking Bad series you will understand this statement... the results of God’s way are a lot sweeter and more lucrative than the world’s ways…in the long run.
Don't get me wrong, I am not saying that providing for your family or exercising leadership and power in an efficient and productive manner is un-masculine. The point I am making is that many of our ideas about what masculinity really is fall short of the Biblical definition. Men in our culture pursue man-dom with passion in all sorts of ways... accumulating wealth, power, positional dominance etc. We tend to judge our man-ness by how much better we are doing compared to other men. This seems to be the heart of Walt's problem in Breaking Bad. Jesus taught a higher standard. He taught responsibility and strength at another level... contentment, self-discipline, patience, self-less service, compassion and more. These require more strength than violence, self-gratification and all sorts of other forms of selfishness that seem to describe our common pursuit of manhood in our culture.
So what is true masculinity according to the Bible... Jesus. He was the only perfect man. Pursue His model and teaching and you will hit the target. It's that simple.
