No Rights. Journal of a Christ soldier.

I Hate Public Speaking!

 

I really hate public speaking. I hate it because it scares the crap out of me. Even after 14 years of ministry (and a speech minor in college) I still get so nervous before a talk that I practically hyperventilate. I hate that feeling. I really do. Unfortunately, avoiding any kind of public speaking is not an option for me in my career. So I do it. But I hate it. Did I mention that already?

Honestly, I do it because I have to do it. I do it because it is my job and, in spite of this ugly reality, I really do love my job as a minister. I also do it because I believe in the power of the spoken word to bring about transformation and change especially when it comes to preaching God’s Word. I do it because people need to hear me lead from up front in order to win their trust as a leader. And I do believe that God can use me when I speak His Word in public. But I still hate it. I hate being scared. It is humiliating. And at this point in my life, I really don’t like being scared or humiliated. 

I have given up any hope for getting rid of the overwhelming feeling of dread and anxiety that floods my reality the entire week before (and especially just before) I have to give a talk or sermon.  So this is not a self help blog. After 14 years, I think I can safely say that there is no cure for my fear of public speaking. My body is physically allergic to it. The introvert in me is simply too dominant. There is hope, however. While there is no cure, there is help and lots of it. I realize that this sounds very simplistic, but God is all the help we will ever need.

More specifically, I believe the help is found in the very nature and character of God. He is good and He truly cares about us. He is our perfect Father. Because He is good and because He loves us, He cares about our needs and feelings. He cares in a very real way. Jesus communicated this fact to us in Luke chapter 11 as He was teaching on the topic of prayer. In Luke 11, verse 5 through 13, Jesus gives us two analogies that explain God’s heart towards our need. After teaching His disciples how to pray he gives them two examples.

First, He tells them about a person who seeks out help from his friend in the middle of the night. The friend only responds when the seeker shows himself to be a persistent person. Now, I have always believed that Jesus was just trying to tell us to be persistent in our prayers, to persevere in them no matter how long it takes for God to answer. This might be true in some sense. However, I don’t think this is the point of this story. The point is not that we can manipulate God into answering our requests by simply being persistent. The focus of the story is not on the persistence but rather on the character of the friend. This so called “friend” was not a very good friend at all. He was lazy and didn’t want to help the seeker. He only helped because the seeker was persistent. I think the point here is that if this bad and lazy friend helped the seeker with his need then how much more likely is God to answer us when we come to Him with our needs?! This interpretation makes much better sense of the second example Jesus uses.

In the second story, Jesus brings the point home even harder. He talks about the relationship between a Father and a helpless child. There is not a more applicable example of the power difference between us and God than this one. And if an earthly, imperfect, evil father knows how to give good gifts then how much more likely is God to give us good gifts. He is our Father, afterall. If we are capable of caring for and sympathizing with our children’s needs then how much more capable is God?! The point of the stories is that even a bad friend and an evil father will respond to requests with good gifts eventually so, of course, God will answer our requests with good gifts!

This story reminds me of camping with our children. Our middle son is afraid of a lot of things that go on in the dark. So he is not so keen on sleeping in a tent out in the middle of the woods. Prior to the trip he sincerely liked the idea of camping with us. He wanted to be brave and sleep in the tent but his fear just gets the best of him at times. So what should my response be to his anxiety? Do I dismiss it and tell my seven year old to just tough it out? Or do I avoid camping altogether for the sake of his fear? I chose neither. Because I sincerely love my son, I chose to take him camping. I assured him that I would be with him the whole time and I slept right next to him the whole weekend. I took extra care to comfort him throughout the experience. As a result he made it through without any problems. He actually enjoyed the whole weekend and wants to go again. So, if I can be a decent father to my son just imagine how much more God can take care of us?

Here is the hope for us who have fears of any kind. God cares about our fear because He really cares for us. He cares about our needs. And He will respond to our needs in good ways. All we have to do is close our eyes and trust God to take care of us. Often times, I have found that He does not take away our feeling of fear or remove us from the circumstances that cause us to be afraid. But rather, He encourages us to trust Him in the midst of the fear. He will even help us to trust Him if we ask. 

I think this is exactly the message that David is communicating to us in Psalm 23. In verse 4 he proclaims that he will not fear even though he walks through the valley of the shadow of death.  His lack of fear is not because he decided to stop being afraid or even because God zapped it out of him. His lack of fear comes directly from his trust in God’s rod and staff. These represent the power and tender care of God. Because God is who He is, David does not have to fear even the scariest of life’s predicaments.

Of course, this is not easy. Trusting in God is easier said than done. However, it starts when we choose to seek God for help. Trust develops when we choose to dwell on God’s power and love rather than the circumstances that we fear.

This doesn’t mean I have to ever like public speaking. I never will. But it does mean that I can do it through God’s help. 

Sometimes we need the storm...

 

No one wants to go through a stormy time in their life. And I don't think Jesus expects us to want seasons of  tragedy and trial. But sometimes we need the storm. Sometimes we need to be swept out into the deep places where all we have is our faith in a good and loving God. These are the places where we learn just how flimsy our faith really is and just how faithful God is in spite of it. The classic story of Jesus calming the storm is found in Mark 4:35-41. As I reflect on my own trials this passage keeps jumping out to me. As I have reflected on this passage I have made a couple of interesting observations. First of all, there is no reference to the amount of time they spent in the storm before Jesus woke up. I think we assume it was very soon into the storm. However, the passage says that the boat was nearly swamped. Jesus was sleeping through the storm. No wonder the disciples accused him of not caring! I wonder if he wasn't waiting until the last minute on purpose. I wonder if the disciples weren't frantically fighting the storm on their own for a good bit of time before they woke Jesus up. After all, He was not a fisherman so what would He know about boats and storms. Finally, Jesus responds by doing something they never expected. He calms the storm. Their reaction before and after betrays their faith. They assumed He did not care about them in the middle of it. And afterward they are terrified because they never thought He had that kind of power. Flimsy faith. But what a lesson, right? Their faith would never be the same again. The storm was horrible. They were afraid they were going to die. They all probably knew lots of people who had died in similar circumstances. And yet, Jesus takes this tragic situation and turns it into a monumental faith lesson. I think this was the plan all along. We need storms. I think this is exactly what James was talking about in James chapter 1. The testing of our faith is a good thing. Maturity is impossible otherwise.

Seeing heaven through Quorra's eyes

"Now we see but a poor reflection as in a mirror; then we will shall see face to face. Now I know in part; then I shall know fully even as I am fully known."

I just finished watching Tron Legacy with my kids. (BTW...It's a great sequel to one of the truly great movies from the 80's!) Watching the movie got me thinking about heaven. Yeah, I know it's a big jump...but not so much when you consider how much I love sci fi. It stirred up my ideas about heaven. What is heaven going to be like? Will it completely blow our minds? What will it look like? What will it feel like? I can't be the only one that wonders about all of this.

In the movie we meet a character named Quorra. Quorra is a sentient computer program like person that was born "on the grid" which is computer world of...well you will just have to see the movie to understand. Quorra dreams of seeing a real sunset but has no idea what one actually looks like. She lives in a dark and cold world that is almost completely devoid of color. For her whole life a distant bright light in the sky is all she has to help her imagine what a sunset might be like in the real world. At the end of the movie Quorra escapes the computer world with Sam Flynn and gets to witness an actual sunset. What was once beyond her imagination is finally made manifest to her. And it is an amazing experience. It marks the beginning of a whole new life for her.

I think the truly good news about heaven is that we don't have a clue what it is really like. I say good news because it's beyond our imagination or comprehension in a good way. We don't have any kind of framework from which to form an inkling of an idea of what it could possibly be like other than it will be an amazing place to be. According to Paul, God is able to do more than all we can ask or imagine (Eph.3:20). So our best and most generous guesses as to what heaven could be like will not even compare to the reality. We, like Quorra, live in a dark and cold world (relative to heaven). We have nothing here on earth to help us imagine the brilliance of heaven.

But whatever it is like, I believe it will be nothing but amazing. Like Quorra seeing her first sunset after a lifetime of only dreaming about one... I think heaven is going to feel to us like our deepest and most desperate dreams coming true in ways that we could never have imagined. It will be a whole new life for us...far superior to our lives now. Now that is hope!

 

Why Do We Exist?

Why do we exist at all? This really is the ultimate question, isn’t it? Why is there something, rather than nothing? If the answer to these is simply a Creator God…then where did He come from? What came before God? It is the question that silently bounces around in the back of our minds on rainy overcast days. It is the unanswerable thought that we feel every time we look up into the night sky. It haunts us every time we attend the funeral of a loved one. It is the topic most often contemplated by drunk (and/or high) teenagers around the campfire. And it is a question that remains a goldmine for publishers and the aspiring intelligentsia.

I still remember asking my dad the big question. I couldn’t have been more than 9 or 10 years old. We were headed down the driveway in our garbage can on wheels green station wagon. I have no idea where we were going. But that moment and that question, I remember vividly.  I can’t imagine what must have been going through my dad’s head after I asked him. I was in tears. The question was literally burning a hole in my entire being.

“Dad, what came before God? I asked. It was a question I often thought about after Sunday school lessons about God creating the world in the book of Genesis.

“Ahhh…..nothing. God has just always been around.” He answered, without much confidence.

“But, how can that be? Where did we come from? Where did God come from? There has to be an answer.” I asked with tears rolling.

“No one knows, son. That’s just the way it is.” He replied.

At the heart of my question was a longing to know why we are here. Without an answer, life just seemed like an overwhelming flood of chaos…even for a 9 or 10 year old. Life was supposed to be neat and orderly and understandable and nice. I had been taught from an early age that God was the reason for our existence. But God as the Creator of everything only raised another question for me. What came before God?

Stephen Hawking says this is an irrelevant question because God is irrelevant. For Hawking the question of existence is a matter of science and nothing else. This is the newest view of Dr. Hawking to hit the presses. His new book, "The Grand Design", has captured a lot of attention because of these new radical claims about science. In the book, Hawking makes the bold claim that theology is unnecessary in explaining the creation of the universe. (CNN article) In other words, he now believes that God is not necessary to explain how the universe came into existence. I suppose if Stephen would have been there to answer my question as a kid, he would have said something like this, “God doesn’t matter. The universe created the universe. Once there was nothing and then there was something.”  Wow, I’m glad my Dad was not a super intelligent physicist from England! I think this would have frustrated me even more…with good reason.

Keep in mind also, that Hawking’s recent views are a bit of a redaction to previous statements he has made about the place of theology. At one point, in a previous work, he is on record as saying that the entire discovery process is a process of discovering the mind of God. Of course Hawking shamelessly borrowed this view from JOHANNE KEPLER who once described science as “thinking God’s thoughts after Him”.

Stephen Hawking and I completely agree one thing. We agree that the ultimate question of all time is, in fact: “Why do we exist?”  But I seriously disagree with the thought that theology is unnecessary to answering this question. God may not fully answer the ultimate question. However, God is necessary in trying to answer it. God is as close to an answer as we will ever get. Hawking disagrees. He believes that science does not need God at all to describe how the universe came into being. This is an unfortunate stance for someone as gifted as Hawking. There are three reasons I find this new view of Hawking to be extremely unsatisfying:

1.   This view answers nothing important.   Scientists are usually the first ones to accuse Christians of deflecting or evading the question of existence by using God as an answer. But really we can say the same of modern scientists such as Hawking. They are also deflecting and evading the question by saying that science can explain how things came into being. Even if science can describe the exact process by which the universe popped into existence, this says nothing about why? And it really does not answer the how question either. Let me explain.

 

Quantum physics is a field of science that is advancing at an incredible rate right now. Leading academics in this field are considering and discovering things about the universe that no one ever thought possible. For example, scientists have observed and proven that certain things in the universe can spontaneously pop into and out of existence. What an incredible thought and discovery! However, knowing this happens, even predicting when and where it will happen does not explain how or why it happens. This remains a mystery. And it will likely remain a mystery given our finite limitations. Equations, science, even quantum physics merely observe and describe the universe. These disciplines cannot ever tell us what is behind the veil. They cannot tell us why or how the universe came into being from absolute nothingness

 

Hawking has called his view, “Spontaneous Creation”. The idea is that the universe simply created itself. The laws of the universe basically created themselves. Hawking believes that God is unnecessary because we do not need to explain how or why something came from nothing. He believes, that something (i.e. the universe) created itself and that is all we need to say. But that tells us nothing. How is this an answer? Why do we need a term like “Spontaneous Creation” to say, “I have no clue.” To me this view sounds a lot like a teenager trying to explain to their parents how they got into a car wreck.

 

“How did this happen?” the parents ask.

 

“Well, the car in front of me stopped suddenly and then I put my foot on the breaks and tried to stop in time but apparently I didn’t stop in time and then my front end smashed into his back end which resulted in two totaled cars and a traffic citation from the police.”  The teen answers evasively. 

 

The problem is, this is not really an answer to the question even though it does accurately describe what happened. The relevant question is, “What caused the accident?” not “how would you describe the process of the accident?” Who is at fault? This is what we really want to know.  And this is what we are really asking when we raise questions about the existence of the universe. Simply saying that the universe caused the universe is like saying the accident (and the physics of the universe that caused the accident) caused the accident. This answers nothing. Something from nothing raises more questions than it answers. In the end, the question of events leading up to the creation of our universe is irrelevant next to the question of why these events happened at all. What caused these events to be set into motion? What brought something from nothing? Who cares how it happened? We want to know why it happened! And this question can never be answered by science alone.

 

2.   This view lacks appropriate humility. ALBERT EINSTEIN once said, "Everyone who is seriously interested in the pursuit of science becomes convinced that a spirit is manifest in the laws of the universe- a spirit vastly superior to man, and one in the face of which our modest powers must feel humble."  And surely he must have been right. Science and discovery must be wrought with humility to be credible and good. Awe and wonder should be our natural response to the size and shape of the universe we live in. Whether we are looking into the depths of the universe or studying the complexities of the human body or considering the intricacies of the sub-atomic world we ought to be awed into silence, right? Right? The kind of science that says we have no need for theology is a scary one indeed. Any approach to science, which rules out God from the start, is arrogant and twisted.

 

Take for example, consciousness. Every branch of science is speechless when it comes to such things as this. It is unexplainable. It is one thing to say that matter came into being from nothing. It is quite another to say that from this matter came beings that are aware of themselves. Why? Why do I exist? Why do I know I exist? This is a humbling question. To say that science does not need theology to answer this question is arrogant and foolish. It is the kind of arrogance that is born from the belief that we (mankind) are capable of anything. This is simply not true. We have a great many limitations. I am not saying that science is evil or wrong or even unhelpful. Science is very helpful and very necessary. I am simply saying that science is not our savior. When I look at the stars and consider the wonders of this world in which I breath, I am humbled at my cosmic smallness and it is out of a healthy kind of fear that I say….God must be real.

 

3.   This view blinds us to the most important event of all time: The incarnation of God Himself.    The real question behind the question is, “Are we alone?” Ultimately we want to know if our existence is meaningful. If we are simply the result of a bunch of accidental processes in the universe, then we are alone. And this does not feel good at all. A meaningless world is a lonely world. To be floating on a very small rock in the vast ocean of space without any purpose is to be a cosmic orphan. We want to know if we are really orphans. If life has meaning and we have purpose then there must be someone out there who gives it to us….someone who is in control where we are not….someone who knows how to take care of us when we do not. If we have a purpose then we have a creator. If we have a creator then we have hope. This is what is really at stake when we ask this question of why we exist.

 

And here is the amazing truth of the matter. God, in his infinite goodness and love, did not leave us without an answer (contrary to what we might think). He did much more than just write down the answers in a Holy book (Although, He did this as well….thankfully). God did not leave us here on earth as cosmic orphans. He came to earth Himself. He wrote Himself into our story. He became one of His created in order to show us that we are not alone in this universe. We call this the incarnation. God became a man and walked among us. He told us that He loved us and then He showed it by dying a horrible death for us. God, knowing our deepest insecurities, showed Himself to us in the person of Jesus. Lost in the middle of this ultimate and seemingly unanswerable question, God showed up.  

 

I feel very sorry for Dr. Hawking. By removing God from the equation he has also removed the only answer to his deepest needs. He has cut Himself off from His Creator and Father…who is the ultimate how and why answer to life’s biggest questions. God does not leave us as orphans in this world, we make ourselves to be orphans.  

What came before God? I suppose the right answer is that there is no before. There is only God. But, honestly, I have no idea what this really means. I just know that I am not alone. Without God there can be no satisfying answer at all. With God, I have meaning and purpose. I have a father who loves me dearly. So it is ok if I don’t have all the answers right now. God has stilled my tears and brought peace and order where I felt lost in chaos. I pray the same will one day be true for Dr. Hawking.

Choosing The Right Church

How do you decide which church to attend? I talk about this subject with students all the time since they are dealing with this dilemma more than most. However, many of us have faced this decision at least once in our lives. And it’s not an easy decision. But it is a really important one.

Obviously, there is no simple formula for choosing which church to attend. But there are several solid principles that can help us focus on the right things and avoid being sucked in by the wrong things as we wrestle through this decision making process. Here they are:  (BTW these are not meant to be comprehensive…I’m sure I missed something good)

1. The church must value God’s Word

First and foremost, you want a church that values the complete authority of the Bible. The word of God is the truth on which we are to base our lives. Without it we are lost. Man’s wisdom alone is useless. God’s word is our first and best guide to living in this world. Therefore, a good church will preach Biblically sound messages. Bible exposition can and will look very different from church to church. However, good interpretation and preparation should be evident in all. A good church will encourage its members to engage Scripture and apply it to their lives. Good small groups will be focused on God’s word and its application. A great church will also help its congregation enter into Scripture and study it for themselves.

2. Don’t judge a church by its Sunday show alone

A church is more than a 30-45 minute sermon each week. It is also more than the quality of the music that is played at each service. Too often people pick their churches based solely on these characteristics alone.  However, a church is a body of believers who are on a mission together. If all we care about is the Sunday show then we betray our own selfish interests. Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that it is ok to attend a church that does not preach the Bible. What I am saying is that Biblical teaching is not always entertaining. The Sunday service is only one aspect of a churches ministry. And the mission of the church is often more important than anything that happens on Sunday morning. There are too many churches out there that have great speakers and amazing worship but nothing for people to do beyond attending the Sunday service. If you are simply looking for a great speaker and/or great music then stay at home and attend church online. (Just being sarcastic here….do really do that!) The same goes for a churches physical presentation. A church is not defined by its physical attributes anymore than people are. I have been to huge churches that have book stores, coffee stores, state of the art electronics and even escalators but fail to produce real spiritual fruit. I have also been to churches that meet in shabby old buildings or even rented spaces that are intensely Missional and producing great spiritual fruit. Who cares how big the building is or how cool the power point is or how comfortable the seats are?! Does this church obey Jesus and help people get involved with His mission? That’s the real question.

3. Focus on the mission not the marketing

We live in a consumer driven culture. So it is important to avoid getting bamboozled by a churches marketing campaign. Too often churches behave more like entrepreneurial franchises than the body of Christ. Churches that dump tons of money into sharp, colorful marketing campaigns may draw people in well enough. But do these churches spend an equal or greater amount of resources on discipling those that they draw in? Sometimes the most vibrant communities of believers are horrible at marketing themselves. That’s ok. Look past the brochures and the websites. Will this church help you meet Jesus and obey Him? Good marketing and Missional living can happen together in a church but it is also possible to have one without the other.

4. Think community needs over individual needs

It is important to remember that you are choosing a body of believers to belong to not a personal needs provider. Your own spiritual growth is important. However, most often your own spiritual growth is tied directly into how you participate in a community of believers. It is not all about you and God alone. We do not love God in a vacuum. We love God by loving each other. God has given you gifts and a purpose that can only be fulfilled in and through community living. This is why it is not possible to serve God and avoid attending a church. John makes it very clear that we cannot love God without also loving our brother (1 John 4:20). How can we love our brother if we never see him or spend any quality time with him?

I just read a great article that relates to this subject. In the article (The "We" We Want To Be ) Ortberg uses the example of a fitness club. This is what he writes:

“It's a good thing to discuss the spiritual formation of individuals. What is badly needed alongside of that is a thoughtful, concrete way of discerning and addressing the spiritual formation of congregations. For we are not just a collection of bobble-head saints.

If I'm a member of a gym, it may not matter much to me what kind of shape other people are in. I'm interested in my fitness. I don't have a strong investment in the fitness of other people. In fact, I don't mind a little flab in the bodies working out around me. It makes me feel better by comparison. I use the fitness center to get my body in shape. The fitness center is a tool for individuals.  The church is not a spiritual fitness center.  The church is not a tool.  The church is a body. It is the body. It is Christ's body.”

5. Don’t be afraid to cross cultures

Unfortunately, Sunday morning is still the most ethnically segregated hours of the week. Most of the time, the things that divide the church are really just petty cultural issues. How we worship divides us more than anything else. But worship is simply a cultural expression. Some prefer wordy songs that express good theology. Some prefer simple songs that express passion and love for God. Some prefer something different altogether. But it is all cultural preference. When John had his vision of heaven he writes in Revelation that he saw a multitude of people from every tribe, tongue and nation (Rev. 7:9). He also tells us that the glory and the honor of the nations will be present in heaven (Rev. 21:26). How else could he know this unless there were distinctions of some kind? Heaven is going to be a diverse place. God is glorified in our diversity. Avoid the false notion that one expression of worship is more right than another. Rather than simply looking for the church that looks and feels most like the one that you grew up attending, allow yourself to experience different cultures. Don’t be afraid of being a little uncomfortable. Your view of God can only grow from such experiences.    

6. Remember where Spiritual growth really happens

Spiritual growth happens when we choose to live like Jesus. It happens when we cooperate with the Holy Spirit and allow His Spirit to shape us into new creations. No church or church program will ever be able to do this for you. It will always be an individual choice every day to take up your cross and follow Jesus. So don’t use the church as your own personal scape-goat. If you are not growing spiritually, it is no one else’s fault but your own. The church exists as a community of people following Jesus. This group of people can help you grow. And you are responsible to help others in this community grow. However, no church will ever be perfect. All churches have serious flaws. All churches are filled with a mixed bunch of imperfect people just like you. So do not expect from any church what it can never deliver. A good church will have opportunities to challenge and be challenged by others in the community. However, you are responsible for taking advantage of those opportunities.

 

 

Build it and they will come?

 

Architects and construction companies must really love Christian churches in America. They have to! Most of the large buildings in our town are Christian churches. You do not have to go far to find a church in the building process. Christian churches are constantly being built (and built onto) all over the U.S.  It seems as if the Christian church in America has collectively decided to base their philosophy of ministry more on the mysterious voice in the cornfield from “Field of Dreams” than on the wisdom of God’s Word. “Build it and they will come.” It may sound crazy but isn’t this the predominant thought behind most of our church building decisions in America? Is it even true, though? Are people really just looking for a nice building to worship in when it comes to their faith decisions? Is everyone really that shallow? I am not convinced.

I suspect that this perpetual building of buildings is a slippery slope that represents more of the materialistic compulsions of our world than it does the timeless wisdom of God. But this raises another more significant question: Where should the local church make its home? I have thought a lot about this question in recent years. Is the church at its best when it is meeting in a comfortably sized, nicely decorated, attractive multi-purpose building? Or is it at its best when it is meeting in the community, on neutral turf that is not owned by the church? I guess this is a controversial topic. I mean it is not so much a controversial issue with me. And I venture to guess that it is not very controversial with many others in my age group and younger. However, it must be controversial with a bunch of church goers because I do not see churches racing to rent out publically owned meeting spaces. Quite the opposite, in fact.

The more I think about it the more frustrated I get with this wasteful use of buildings and financial resources by churches here in America. I think about the escalator in the new Willow Creek facility all the time. Ok, maybe not all the time…but a lot! I mean they have stairs, right? They have an elevator, right? So, why in the world do they need an escalator? I think about all of the gymnasiums built into church buildings all around my area and yet our town has no public gymnasium. Our town does not even have a public pool. Why do so many churches need their own gym? On one corner in town there are two huge multi-purpose buildings that literally could share the same parking lot they are so close to each other. Of course, they do not share their parking lot. They each have their own. Why do both of these churches need a massive building of their own? Can they not even share a parking lot?

And then there is the matter of how often these buildings are used. Is anyone else concerned about how little time is actually spent in these facilities that we spend so much money to build? Movie theaters use their space many times a day. Town halls and other public meeting places use their space several times a week. Yet most churches use their buildings (which are often much bigger) only once or twice a week. Personally, I think Tony Campolo summed it up best when he said, “We spend (billions) of dollars each year to build buildings to honor the God who told us that He does not dwell in buildings made by man.” I just don’t get it. Why do we put so much emphasis on having our own buildings?

The single best church that I have ever had the pleasure to participate in was a church in Chicago that met each week in a local educational building. This particular church made a commitment to never build a building. Instead, they chose to use their financial resources to invest in mission work. There was something distinctively authentic about attending this church every week. It was exciting. Truthfully, this building was more than our church would ever need in terms of space and comfort. On the down side, the building did not belong to our church so we could not make decisions about the building. But, on the other hand, we did not have to deal with the upkeep or other problems common to ownership. It really felt like we were on a mission in a permanent sense. Isn’t this how the church is supposed to feel?

We have faced this same sort of dilemma in the campus ministry world. Some of our campus ministries meet in school owned buildings and others meet in buildings owned by their denomination. I have always loved meeting on campus in school owned buildings in spite of the inevitable inconveniences. We have to reserve the space. We have to deal with grumpy janitors. We have to set up our own equipment and tear it down every single week. And yet our ministry is thriving. I am not suggesting that our location is the singular key to our success. However, I do believe that it is part of it. I am free from many of the time consuming tasks involved with building upkeep. We meet closer to our target audience. We meet on neutral ground. It is easier and less intimidating for the unchurched to come to our service for this very reason. 

I have heard stories of churches that have used their resources to build public buildings that they share with their city. I have heard of and experienced churches that insist on meeting as close to the mission field as they can get. I long to be a part of those churches. I really really do. I am sick of the materialism that has ruined us so thoroughly. I want to see more churches decide to sacrifice the comfortable choice to own their own facility in favor of living more incarnationally in their community. I want to see churches choose to use their financial resources for the actual mission rather than for building another multi-purpose mega building that will just sit unused most of the week. It is time for a change.

The Lies of Success

The day after a student retreat is always uncomfortable for me. I want to rest and take the day off. However, my mind is almost always stuck, relentlessly going over the conference moment by moment. It is hard to rest. It is hard to disconnect from all that has happened. This is especially true today. This weekend conference was very different from others that I have experienced. Our chapter sharing time was like none other. I have never experienced a group of students so radically motivated to serve God in such sacrificial ways. Students shared about Bible studies they were going to start, non-Christians they were going to share the gospel with and even career decisions. Several students expressed commitments to go into full time ministry. (I think I am actually going to have to talk some students out of full time ministry...as strange as that sounds!) In fact, I just got a text from yet another student who is going to move back into the dorms in order to be a better witness.

The ministry here at SIUC is thriving in a way that I have never experienced and really never thought it would. It is amazing and humbling and exhilarating all wrapped up into one! God is clearly at work doing something big. It is far bigger than me. There is a work of God going on here that I have done nothing to create. Still, it is an especially dangerous time for me. I am a bit nervous to be very honest. The success of the ministry will lead people to think certain ways about me. People may be led to think that what is happening here has a lot to do with me. Outside observers may very well be tempted to think that what is happening here has to do with my gifts, my service, my experience and wisdom. The even bigger danger is that I will be tempted to start thinking this about myself. Pride is everywhere....crouching all around this success.

Personally, I think that success in ministry is similar to (but not the same as) success in life. There is much good that can come from it. Success can help guide others to a better way of doing things. Success can produce really good results in terms of wealth and products that will serve mankind. Success in ministry obviously brings about great spiritual fruit. However, success in ministry has a dark side just like success in life. There are lies that come along with success. If we are not careful they will take hold of us. The lies go something like this... "Wow, I really must know what I am doing...just look at the results!", "Hey, you should do things like me because I know how to do ministry better.", "God has given me such amazing gifts, I can't help but produce great results." ....and so on. The dark side of success is that place where we forget where success is really born and become convinced that we are the direct cause of that success. I have seen too many people in ministry get caught there. It is an ugly and unfortunate sight.

I can see these lies already beginning to take shape in my own heart. I am crazy excited about all that God is doing here at SIUC. But I am also very fearful of how this success will affect me personally. Pride is always a temptation for me. I don't want to forget that anything God does here is because of His power and choice not because of me. I am merely a steward. God has invited me to be a part of what He is doing. It is a great opportunity and blessing to be here. He is in no way dependant on me to work here. The truth of the matter is that God is working in spite of me. His glory is shown brightly through my weakness.

My prayer today is that I would not succumb to those whispering voices that want to turn me away from God and that I will never forget the truth about success!    

Where do good sermons come from?

“Make prayers out of your Bible devotions not sermons. A true prayer will preach much better anyway!” Eddie Gibbs

Those of us entrusted with the duty of preaching are responsible for bringing a fresh word from God to the people. We can only find that fresh Word from God in our personal study life. So the question is raised, “Is our personal study life for us or is it for those to whom we will preach?”  The answer is, of course, both. Our study life is where we find the content for our preaching. However, our personal study life is also our own personal lifeline. It is where we meet God and find all that we need to be all of who God wants us to be. God’s Word is meant for us first and then for those to whom we will preach. A Word from God is not fit to be preached until it has intersected with our own lives.

Therefore, we should first seek to make prayers out of our personal study time; not sermons. As we desperately wrestle with God’s word in our own sin filled lives, prayers are bound to be born. Our prayers will then bring life and color and power to our sermons. Our prayers will overflow into our preaching. As we preach sermons from our prayers the power of our own testimony will bear witness to the transformative truth that we offer.

Still, it is very possible to preach on a regular basis without a healthy personal study life. It is possible to draw our sermons from a different well altogether. We can lean on our past experiences, we can speak from our own knowledge and we can certainly borrow other people’s words to preach. This, however, is a shallow well filled with stagnant water, and it cannot maintain us or those we are preaching to for long.  Preaching without a healthy study life is much like surviving on a desert island by drinking our own urine. We can do it for a time but it cannot keep us alive for long. Without the credibility of our own lives our sermons are nothing more than another loud and empty voice in a deafening arena of propaganda.

So we seek God and press into Him to hear that fresh life giving Word for ourselves first and foremost. Once we have struggled in the Spirit to apply this Word to our own lives, it is finally fit to be preached.

 

Divided Loyalties

I want to serve God and....____________. The infamous "AND" syndrome. It is a common malady in the Christian world. It is especially true here in America where the standard of living is so much higher than most of the world. It is a subtle and tricky sort of syndrome. It often begins in small ways, lying just under the surface, leading us away from wholehearted obedience in very small steps. It is hard to see at first, but the long term effects are devastating to our faith in the Lord. It is an age old disease. Humanity has been struggling with this snydrome from the beginning.

King Solomon suffered severely from the "AND" syndrome. There is plenty of evidence for this in Scripture. He seemed to be in its grip from the very beginning of his reign. 2 Chronicles chapter 2 begins like this, "Now Solomon purposed to build a temple for the name of the Lord, and a royal palace for himself." It seems innocent enough. Afterall, a king should have a palace to live in right? I admit the evidence for divided loyalties here is subtle. But it is there. Solomon wanted to please God AND he wanted to have a little something for himself as well. What he ended up with, though, was not a "little something". It was a very big "something". Solomon's palace ended up being much bigger than the temple that he built for the Lord. Who did he end up serving the most? Himself.

Jesus warned us against divided loyalties in Luke 16:13. He said, "You cannot serve two masters." The truth is that when you try and serve God and other things you sacrifice much of the joy and contentment that comes along with serving Jesus completely. Eventually, your desires for other things will choke out your relationship with God. Solomon was a good example of this very idea. His wealth and multitude of wives caused him to leave the path of full obedience to the Lord for a time. Solomon wanted it all. We want it all too. But having all that we want is not in our best interest. The Lord knows what we really need. And He is good. He loves us dearly as His children. The cure to the "And" syndrome is simple and yet incredibly difficult. The cure is simply trusting in the Lord.

I would like to think that I don't struggle with divided loyalties at this stage of my life. I am in my 13th year of full time ministry. It seems like I should have arrived at complete devotion by now. However, truth be told, I do have divided loyalties at times. I really do want to serve God with my life. I want my life to bring glory to His name. I want to obey His mission in this world using the gifts that He has given to me. Still, there are other things that I find myself day dreaming about. One thing I find myself thinking about a lot is a new house. I would love to have a nice big house. I often catch myself dreaming of a bigger, newer, more comfortable, better house than the one we have now. 

Personally, I do not think it is so much to ask. Why not? We could use the bigger house to do ministry, of course. Life would just seem to be so much better if we had a bigger house. And there lies the subtle stinger. The thought that life would be better with anything else is a dangerous and slippery slope. Buying new things or moving into bigger homes is not wrong or unhealthy. Many times it is completely necessary to buy new stuff. There was nothing wrong with Solomon building himself a house. However, like Solomon pursuing more and more stuff can choke out our walk with God fast. It is all too easy to begin looking to the stuff for our comfort and satisfaction rather than to God.

When I am deep into my day dreams, designing the coolest MTV crib ever concieved, the question I have to ask myself is this: "Is this really what God wants for me or is this just what I want for me?" I know He wants what is best for me and I know that He knows what I need better than I do. It is a matter of trust. Trusting God frees me up to enjoy my life as it is now. It allows me to replace materialistic lust with sincere thankfulness and joy. It even allows me to be much more generous with my possesions. Trusting God brings real freedom and peace. No amount of anything on this earth can do that.  

Living with divided loyalties robs us, distracts us and even hurts us. Trusting God leads to lasting contentment. Contentment brings real joy in life. The "And" syndrome leads in the opposite direction. Rather than spending our time dreaming about what we don't have we need to spend our time thanking God for what He has already given us. If we are Americans we need to remind ourselves that most of the world lives on much less than we do. So we certainly have reason to be thankful!

Looking for Heroes...

What do heroes look like? Just like everyone else I guess. Most are unseen, unheard maybe even unaware of themselves. The best of them are completely anonymous. A single moment, a single event may expose them but they are certainly not born in that moment. They live away from the light to give light. They are forged over a long period of time. The tests of life purify and destroy. Small decisions make all the difference given time. Small habits change the course of a man’s life. Discipline brings vision to life. Where do heroes come from? I am not sure. Anywhere I suppose. Unfortunately this world provides plenty of opportunities to shine. Those who will let themselves be bothered enough to take a risk will come forward.  Sacrifice is a necessary but increasingly rare ingredient. There will be fear. But there is real power from above, available to all who seek Him. Who will be a hero?